Една жена отива на работа цялата сияеща. - Какво става? – питат я колежките й. - Невероятен секс – отговаря. - Стига ма, с кого? - С мъжа ми, с кого. - Че вие сте женени от 15 години. - Оле направо чудо – значи снощи първо два часа любовна игра, после един час секс и накрая четири часа гушкане. - Оле блазе ти! Отива мъжът на работа. Гледат го колегите му подпухнал – едва ходи. - Какво става, бе братче, защо си като парцал? - Остави се брат, страшна работа. Снощи пийнах малко и мойта реши да правим секс. Ужас! Първо два часа не мога да го вдигна, после един час не мога да свърша и накрая като се ококорих четири часа не мога да заспя!
-------------------- Scientists have finally discovered what's wrong with the female brain:On the left side,there is nothing right,and on the right side,there is nothing left.
Цитат: Iran Offended By Israeli Samsung Commercial
They are considering a ban on all Samsung products after a commercial shows a Mossad agent touting his new tablet to some interested Arabs who eventually hit a button and the Mossad’s tablet is wired to blow up a nuclear power plant.
A salesman on the road goes into a luncheonette and orders a hamburger and a hot dog. A few minutes later, the waitress puts a plate in front of him with an open bun on it, pulls a hamburger out of her armpit, and tosses it on the bun.
The salesman says, "What the h-e-c-k was that all about?"
The waitress replies, "I was just keeping it warm for you."
The salesman now shocked but not awed stands up and while leaving says, "That''s just disgusting. I'm not paying for that hamburger and you can cancel my hotdog too!"
Moral of the story. Whether it's food preparation or a sales presentation; if you cut corners and don't follow generally accepted formalities, you run the risk of running you prospective customers off. And in either case please remember not to have any sort of liquid oozing from your armpits. That's just plain wrong. (My sincerest apologies in advance to those of you planning to enjoy a hamburger today at lunch, or this weekend for that matter. Besides wouldn't fish or a healthy garden salad be a better choice for you anyway?) ;-)
-------------------- Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher. "Now, Lucy?" "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks.
"And the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Lucy. Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told me this story about my uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a pilot in Vietnam and his plane got hit. He had to bail out over enemy territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Don't fuck with Uncle Bob when he's been drinking."
Baskin-Robbins introduces new flavor: Barocky Road
In honor of the 44th President of the United States , Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: " Barocky Road "
Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes.
The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all very bitter and hard to swallow.
The cost is $82.84 per scoop....so out of a hundred dollar bill you are at least promised some CHANGE..!
When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but after you pay for it, the ice cream is taken away and given to the person in line behind you at no charge.
You are left with an empty wallet, holding an empty cone with no hope of getting any ice cream.
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